Saturday, January 31, 2009
???
People say the best thing you can do for your friends is pray for them. Does that mean if I don't pray for them then I'm not doing what is best? That's a pretty redundant question. But...by not praying for them, does that mean I don't care as much?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Happy Birthday
This is probably the most amazing blog entry I have ever read in my entire life:
i like birthdays. i like them more for other people but i'm glad we celebrate them. At the heart of it is the opportunity to tell someone "I'm glad that you were born", which is also to say "I'm glad that you're alive." Those are powerful statements. The world would be a different better place if we lived that way, if we said and showed those things, more than once a year.
i hope TWLOHA can be something like that, an attempt to say those things more often, to say that we are thankful for life and stories and certainly yours. i hope that we can be something like a gift, something like a favorite song or some show that you remember, some piece of hope or life or strength to hold against the walls when they feel cracked or falling. i hope we can be a reminder that life is worth fighting for, that your friends and family are worth fighting for, that love and beauty still happen, that change still happens. We'll only ever be part of the process, words on a screen in the middle of the night - i hope they find you like a friend. A t-shirt pulled from one of your drawers early on a tired silent morning - i hope you feel less alone when you look in the mirror. i hope it reminds you of community, that you're part of a bigger thing. i hope it sparks some conversation that brings change like a fire on the coldest night.
You'll need more than us. You'll need more and better. You'll need other people. You'll need people to help you process, people to help you let go, people to help you remember what's true and people to help you forget what's lies. You'll need the stories and advice of people with gray hair or white hair or no hair at all. Don't buy the lie that suggests they have nothing to offer or nothing to say - they were young once too. They are stories still going and they've seen the places you will go. They've been stuck at times as well, just like you and me and everyone.
You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.
We're saying the story doesn't end here, that the air in your lungs is there for a reason. Perhaps we're all in the business of better endings, you as much as us, the business of redemption. Yours and mine and all the characters around us, and perhaps that bigger thing. i'll steal from Bono here and tell you that i believe we're far from alone in this, that God's been at this for a long time, this business of buying things back, making things new. If this is starting to sound too Churchy or spiritual, i'll simply say that i believe God gives a shit, about your life, about your story, about your pain. And if those possibilities feel too far or they just sound weird, then rest now and we'll get back to people.
We give a shit.
The darkness wins too often. Broken things build themselves in silence. People feel alone. People give up. People talk about this stuff like it's math or they don't talk about it at all.
So what are we doing? Why this page? Why the shirts? Why did a group of young people put their lives on hold and move to Florida a week ago? Why would they trade everything they know, all their normal comfort and quiet, for a crowded house and endless hours of this word "community"? Why would they want to join a conversation that most people run from?
We're trying to fight for people with kindness, with words that move, with honesty and creativity. We're trying to push back at suicide with compassion, with hope. We're pointing to wisdom, pointing to medicine, saying that hope is real, help is real. We're fighting for our own stories, our own friends and families, our own broken hearts. We're saying there's nothing we can't talk about, nothing off-limits. We're kicking elephants out of living rooms, making room for life.
You. It's about you. This is for you. It's crap unless it moves you, crap unless it connects with your story, meets you in your pain, reminds you of your dreams, reminds you what's possible.
We're still alive, you see. You and i on this night that's never happened before. Spread out across a giant circle, winter on one side and summer on the other, day and night the same. And then it moves and turns and changes. Things are always changing.
We are glad that you were born.
We are glad that you're alive.
Don't give up. Don't give up on your story. Don't give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It's all worth fighting for.
Peace to you tonight.
jamie
PS: If you're wondering where the heck this came from, i turned 29 today. It's enough to make you think... : ) Off to meet the boys at Texas Roadhouse. Gonna catch a B.L.O.R.R. show after that.
PS2: You absolutely must see the new Coldplay video for "Life in Technicolor II". Prepare to smile.
i like birthdays. i like them more for other people but i'm glad we celebrate them. At the heart of it is the opportunity to tell someone "I'm glad that you were born", which is also to say "I'm glad that you're alive." Those are powerful statements. The world would be a different better place if we lived that way, if we said and showed those things, more than once a year.
i hope TWLOHA can be something like that, an attempt to say those things more often, to say that we are thankful for life and stories and certainly yours. i hope that we can be something like a gift, something like a favorite song or some show that you remember, some piece of hope or life or strength to hold against the walls when they feel cracked or falling. i hope we can be a reminder that life is worth fighting for, that your friends and family are worth fighting for, that love and beauty still happen, that change still happens. We'll only ever be part of the process, words on a screen in the middle of the night - i hope they find you like a friend. A t-shirt pulled from one of your drawers early on a tired silent morning - i hope you feel less alone when you look in the mirror. i hope it reminds you of community, that you're part of a bigger thing. i hope it sparks some conversation that brings change like a fire on the coldest night.
You'll need more than us. You'll need more and better. You'll need other people. You'll need people to help you process, people to help you let go, people to help you remember what's true and people to help you forget what's lies. You'll need the stories and advice of people with gray hair or white hair or no hair at all. Don't buy the lie that suggests they have nothing to offer or nothing to say - they were young once too. They are stories still going and they've seen the places you will go. They've been stuck at times as well, just like you and me and everyone.
You'll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.
We're saying the story doesn't end here, that the air in your lungs is there for a reason. Perhaps we're all in the business of better endings, you as much as us, the business of redemption. Yours and mine and all the characters around us, and perhaps that bigger thing. i'll steal from Bono here and tell you that i believe we're far from alone in this, that God's been at this for a long time, this business of buying things back, making things new. If this is starting to sound too Churchy or spiritual, i'll simply say that i believe God gives a shit, about your life, about your story, about your pain. And if those possibilities feel too far or they just sound weird, then rest now and we'll get back to people.
We give a shit.
The darkness wins too often. Broken things build themselves in silence. People feel alone. People give up. People talk about this stuff like it's math or they don't talk about it at all.
So what are we doing? Why this page? Why the shirts? Why did a group of young people put their lives on hold and move to Florida a week ago? Why would they trade everything they know, all their normal comfort and quiet, for a crowded house and endless hours of this word "community"? Why would they want to join a conversation that most people run from?
We're trying to fight for people with kindness, with words that move, with honesty and creativity. We're trying to push back at suicide with compassion, with hope. We're pointing to wisdom, pointing to medicine, saying that hope is real, help is real. We're fighting for our own stories, our own friends and families, our own broken hearts. We're saying there's nothing we can't talk about, nothing off-limits. We're kicking elephants out of living rooms, making room for life.
You. It's about you. This is for you. It's crap unless it moves you, crap unless it connects with your story, meets you in your pain, reminds you of your dreams, reminds you what's possible.
We're still alive, you see. You and i on this night that's never happened before. Spread out across a giant circle, winter on one side and summer on the other, day and night the same. And then it moves and turns and changes. Things are always changing.
We are glad that you were born.
We are glad that you're alive.
Don't give up. Don't give up on your story. Don't give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It's all worth fighting for.
Peace to you tonight.
jamie
PS: If you're wondering where the heck this came from, i turned 29 today. It's enough to make you think... : ) Off to meet the boys at Texas Roadhouse. Gonna catch a B.L.O.R.R. show after that.
PS2: You absolutely must see the new Coldplay video for "Life in Technicolor II". Prepare to smile.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Letter
September 29, 2008
Excerpt from my journal/a letter I wrote to a couple people.
Dear friend,
I don't know what's happening. I don't know where it's going. I definitely don't understand any of it.
There are things out there that are bigger than you or me, and somehow that makes everything ok.
I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be. I feel like I'm in hell. I feel like I'm in heaven. I don't even know where I'm going in life.
Except for forward. It has to be forward.
And as I wrote in that book that quite possibly no one will ever read, but if anyone ever does, you will be among the few,
"But what I do know is that I am here, I am alive, and for some reason I am doing quite well. I know that I will never understand all that has happened to me and I will also never understand why."
And for some reason, everything's ok.
And for some reason, no matter how many times I say it's ok, I can't quite convince myself.
And it never is.
Excerpt from my journal/a letter I wrote to a couple people.
Dear friend,
I don't know what's happening. I don't know where it's going. I definitely don't understand any of it.
There are things out there that are bigger than you or me, and somehow that makes everything ok.
I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be. I feel like I'm in hell. I feel like I'm in heaven. I don't even know where I'm going in life.
Except for forward. It has to be forward.
And as I wrote in that book that quite possibly no one will ever read, but if anyone ever does, you will be among the few,
"But what I do know is that I am here, I am alive, and for some reason I am doing quite well. I know that I will never understand all that has happened to me and I will also never understand why."
And for some reason, everything's ok.
And for some reason, no matter how many times I say it's ok, I can't quite convince myself.
And it never is.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
KoL
So I've started playing this game, Kingdom of Loathing. It's pretty fun as a game, challenging and makes you think and whatnot. I like games like that. But I think I prefer the chat to the game. I'm normally not into talking to people I meet online...used to tell my sister to stop it all the time cause it can be not safe. But...I'm not sure. Some of the people I've met are just so amazing and interesting and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't change that decision for the world.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying
Written several months ago, but especially relevant today:
"There comes a point in life when you have to face reality. You just can't run away from every little thing that is thrown at you and major occurrences aren't just going to go away because you wish them to. Sometimes things happen, the people around you move on, and then your life changes drastically whether you want it to or not. You just have to learn how to deal with it and keep going. You can't just pretend things didn't happen.
Sometimes the easiest way to get by is to make people happy. Sometimes the number of smiles you help create in a day is what you cling to. Sometimes you can look like the happiest person in the room but on the inside you're the saddest. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
You all mean so much more to me than you could ever realize."
Blessed in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
RIP mommy. I love you.
"There comes a point in life when you have to face reality. You just can't run away from every little thing that is thrown at you and major occurrences aren't just going to go away because you wish them to. Sometimes things happen, the people around you move on, and then your life changes drastically whether you want it to or not. You just have to learn how to deal with it and keep going. You can't just pretend things didn't happen.
Sometimes the easiest way to get by is to make people happy. Sometimes the number of smiles you help create in a day is what you cling to. Sometimes you can look like the happiest person in the room but on the inside you're the saddest. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
You all mean so much more to me than you could ever realize."
Blessed in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.
RIP mommy. I love you.
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